I don't usually arrange sex via text message
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize