Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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