The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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