i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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