Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
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