We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
