there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
