North Korea, Best Korea!
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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