Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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