Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I've blown a few things in my day
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize