bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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