Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
