You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
