She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
