so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
