so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
this is an emotional support booty call
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
