please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize