Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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