Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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