dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Randomize
