We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
She bit a glass in half.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
