Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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