the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
