Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
