Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
