how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
