Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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