ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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