yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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