Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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