margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
