her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
My liver just had a heart attack.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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