I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
