The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Blood and glitter go together right?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
