I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
