Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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