Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
