Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
