so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize