My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
