Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
