She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
i've created a new STD.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
