It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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