If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
