Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize