she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
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