piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
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