he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
how drunk are you?
Several
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
