No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
