i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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