i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
