Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
