Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
