I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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