You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
