I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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