We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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