Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
