I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
