Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
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