Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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