just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Found the puke drawer
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
