Pappa wants mamma naked
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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