wakey wakey hands off snakey
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
