It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
no. you can't hotbox the world.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
