Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Randomize
