we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
