I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
